Kate's Interview Experience

Leave it up to me to use all five of my paragraphs :). Enjoy - I sure did!

Protocol for Practice Interview

1) Can you take me through a typical day in your childhood?
2) What were some of your favorite things growing up (i.e. toy, television show, game)?
a. Why were they your favorite?
3) What was growing up like in your home?
a. Did you have chores growing up?
4) What extra-curricular activities were you involved in?
5) Did you spend a lot of time with friends?
6) I’ve noticed you’ve been using the word “we” a lot as we’ve been talking. Who is “we?”

Summary of Angie’s Experience

Angie grew up with her mom, dad, and a younger brother in Nebraska. She described her family as “painfully normal” as she took me through a typical day in her childhood. Based on her experiences and the stories she told, her experiences of gender can be described in one phrase: equal, but separate.

Growing up, Angie’s favorite toys were her Barbies, although she and her friends didn’t “play or do voices or act it out” like other kids may have. She thought it was fun to change clothes and get the Barbies ready for parties and weddings. When I asked who she played with she said her brother would “play Barbies” with her but they would eventually “make up games like war where we throw things at each over the bed.” Angie’s mom worked hard to buy “girl toys” and “boy toys” equally for Angie and her brother, but the attempt to do that just “blew up in her face.” Specifically, if Angie got a Barbie doll her brother would get a Ken doll and if her brother got a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT), Angie would get a TMNT Pizza Shooter. Although “her intentions were good and she was trying to be equal and sort of force us to play together, he [brother] wasn’t interested in Barbies and I really didn’t care about the Ninja Turtles and I would end up getting two Barbies and he would get two Turtle toys.”

Another example of her parents trying to keep things equal was with the chores Angie had to do growing up. She and her brother switched off unloading the dishwasher “to make it even” and they both had to make their beds daily. Angie also said they would do other things too depending on what their mom asked for. She stated, “we didn’t refuse. It was always understood that this is your family and you help out.” While Angie said the chores between herself and her brother, her mom typically stuck with the “inside chores” and her dad did the “outside chores unless he was asked to help inside…well, with anything but ironing. He doesn’t iron.”

Angie’s parents worked hard to treat their kids as equal as possible, but differences continued emerging as “we each had our own thing.” For example, Angie preferred school and reading while her brother worked really hard at sports. Angie’s favorite books were the Laura Ingalls Wilder series while her brother “probably hasn’t read seven books in his whole life” and her brother excelled at several different sports, noting “dad did work harder with him for sports than he did with me but I think my dad just knew I was interested in other things.”

Angie used “we” language a lot as she spoke to me about her childhood. When I asked her who “we” was, she laughed and said she did not realize she was saying it but she was talking about herself and her brother. “We didn’t do everything together but we were together a lot. We had mutual friends we’d play baseball and pickle ball with and we just spent a lot of time together. I guess my mom and dad worked hard to get it so the “we” was always there. I am his more responsible, older sister and he is my bigger little brother; we have to always look out for each other.”